Over 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse
Omaha, Nebraska - America's frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million...
View ArticleWashington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life...
View ArticleMeet American Idol's New Judges: The U.S. Supreme Court
Hollywood - With Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson dismissing themselves as American Idol judges, the show's producers have hired the U.S. Supreme Court to takeover all talent evaluations...
View ArticleWashington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover
Washington DC - In a rare bipartisan action, President Obama has joined with Congress to purchase Internet social media giant Facebook for an undisclosed sum. "If you have to ask how much, you can't...
View ArticleYogurt Rescues the Greek Economy
Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt...
View ArticleNightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers
New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and...
View ArticlePaul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead
Arlington National Cemetery - The Republican's newly named vice presidential nominee has some patriotic advice for America's elderly. He'd like them to stop breathing. Introducing his Medicare cutback...
View ArticleAkin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'
Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a...
View ArticleRomney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'
New York - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney says he ran out of room in a recent Wall Street Journal article in which he attempted to connect his business experience at Bain Capital with the...
View ArticleNew York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season
New York - With their season running off the rails, the New York Mets have already started to take a look back at the year to see what positives can be salvaged from the train wreck. They found 11: 1....
View ArticleWashington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life...
View ArticleMeet American Idol's New Judges: The U.S. Supreme Court
Hollywood - With Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson dismissing themselves as American Idol judges, the show's producers have hired the U.S. Supreme Court to takeover all talent evaluations...
View ArticleWashington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover
Washington DC - In a rare bipartisan action, President Obama has joined with Congress to purchase Internet social media giant Facebook for an undisclosed sum. "If you have to ask how much, you can't...
View ArticleYogurt Rescues the Greek Economy
Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt...
View ArticleNightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers
New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and...
View ArticlePaul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead
Arlington National Cemetery - The Republican's newly named vice presidential nominee has some patriotic advice for America's elderly. He'd like them to stop breathing. Introducing his Medicare cutback...
View ArticleAkin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'
Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a...
View ArticleRomney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'
New York - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney says he ran out of room in a recent Wall Street Journal article in which he attempted to connect his business experience at Bain Capital with the...
View ArticleMitt Romney launches a 'War on Bankruptcy'
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his...
View ArticleTypo reshapes Mitt Romney's campaign
Washington, DC - A typographical error discovered on Mitt Romney's birth certificate yesterday has reshaped the Republican nominee's presidential campaign. Due the omission of a single, small "m," the...
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